For many years i lived with the idea that there are some regulations and formulas of what means to respect yourself and love yourself. I thought that i had to fallow some steps to reach the love and self respect. It is more simple than that. Feel yourself deeply and always do and say what you feel rather than what you think should be said or done, following up what others said or done in the same circumstances.
Respecting yourself means respecting others. When in doubt, ask yourself a simple question: would i like others to treat me the way i treat them? Feel yourself deeply and be aware of your feelings inside. Listen to your inner guide which is always on your side.
There are some things i wouldn’t do anymore and some that i would do abundantly. There comes a time in everyone’s life when the being reaches a maturity which involves acting from the heart rather than from mind and the fixed rules everyone had been taught since childhood.
Observe the behaviour of your body in different situations. Observe when the impulse to eat, or smoke a cigarette arises, obsere the craving for it. Be aware of it. When you start to observe yourself consciously, your bad habbits will lose their grip on you.
Observe the thoughts, the constant chatter in your mind and gradually they will lose their influence on you, you will not believe any thought that arises and tells you to do things you do not feel to do.
Observe the emotions, negative or positive that arise in a particular situation. In this way you will start knowing the mechanism of your body, the way it functions. Body is an amazing mechanism.
Learn to say “no” to people, not only “yes”. There are many situations when we feel to say no but, in order to avoid upsetting the other, we say yes. But we act against ourselves in this case. We ignore our feelings, just to please the other. Say “no” to the tendency of turning yourself into a people pleaser. It is very healthy to say “no” sometimes.
Listen carefully, without interrupting when someone wants to talk to you and asks for your advice in a particular matter. That means he/she values your opinion and help, values your presence in his/her life. Paying attention to what the other says, shows that you respect that person and respect yourself. I am sure you would like to be treated the same way.
“Our entire life… consists in, ultimately, to accept ourselves the way we are”